Being Nice

Next month is the start of hopefully something new and different for me. I have only managed it for very short periods of time before. I intend to take it to the next level and hopefully keep going for as long as I can. What am I talking about? I am talking about being as nice as I possibly can to myself.

I am a really vicious and nasty person when it comes to me. I push and push myself until it hurts, then I get angry with my body when it complains. You can then add in the self harming, binging and starving myself and pushing the boundaries when it comes to sex. Nothing illegal or immoral! I deprive myself regularly as a punishment, the list is endless and I only occasionally give myself a reprieve.

I have set a date of the 16th September and for a month I am going to try playing nicely. That means responding to my physical, mental and spiritual needs.

· Absolutely no self harming in any form and forgiving myself if I do slip up
· Going to mass weekly as well as my weekly trip to the cathedral
· Replacing possessions and buying what I desperatley need
· Ensuring that I have enough food to eat, it is healthy and I eat 3 meals a day.
· One night of me time with no internet or phone.
· Dealing with any urges to self harm immediately
· Rewarding myself properly

It is hard to put into words how difficult this is going to be for me. It has been deeply ingrained into me that being nice to myself is wrong and that I don’t deserve it.