suicide

I have been trying to decide if I should write a blog about the tragic death of Gary Speed. Most people will know by now that Gary committed suicide by hanging himself. It is a tragedy and my thoughts go out to his family and friends.  I firmly believe that suicide leaves more than one victim in which I mean that the loss of the family and friends. Without a doubt I will also include the person who finds the person who has committed suicide.

Now I can never put myself in the position of someone who has lost someone through suicide. I can however talk about it from the point of someone who has tried to end my life and I can also talk about this from the point of a person who has found someone after they have ended their life. Before I continue I need to tell you that the person I found I successfully resuscitated. They died later on from injuries sustained in an attack prior to their suicide attempt. I am going to put the next sentence in a separate paragraph.

I hope one day to be able to come to terms with the sheer horror of what I walked into that night. 

I haven’t spoken before openly about that night purely because of the images and horror that I keep inside of me. I haven’t talked about that night in detail with the family because I know that she would want everyone to remember her at her best and not at her worst which was that night. A hanging is more than an act of desperation it is anger, there is a huge amount of anger when this happens. I would ask everyone to do the same with Gary. Support his family and give them what they need. If that is privacy then give them that. They will have questions that need answering and in time they hopefully will get the answers that they need.  Gary has peace now.

The feelings I have, the loss I feel is nothing compare to what her family and close friends. I wouldn’t even try to say they are.  For the first time the other night I actually managed to cry over that night. Suicide is a huge tragedy, a massive loss but it is also a very selfish act. I believe the only way to fully understand it is if you have been in that position. I am sure there will be numerous people who will disagree with me on this point but I am saying it from the position of someone who has been there as well as the person who has found some after they have ended their life.

I also want to say something about the huge amount of tweets saying if you are feeling suicidal or depressed then call the Samaritans or other support organisation. It isn’t as easy as that I am afraid. Sometimes what a person really needs is to be noticed. 

Pet Hates

I have decided to do a slightly different post tonight. I would like to tell you about some of my pet hates.

1. Parents who can't remember their children's birthday. Lets be honest if you bring a child into the world the least you can do is remember when it was born.
2. People who lie. Seriously I know people who spend half their life spewing lies. Honesty works, certain people should try it occasionally. You might even gain my respect and eventually trust.
3. People who constantly moan and complain yet refuse to do anything about it. 
4. People who make assumptions about others. In my case you will probably be wrong so try finding out. I really hate judgmental people.
5. People who can't take responsibility for their own actions. Even more so those people who refuse to do anything when they are clearly in the wrong.  Part of being an adult means taking responsibility for your actions and doing something about it when you do mess up.

On a slightly less personal note

1. Charities that think it is acceptable to stop you in the street to try and get a monthly donation out of you. It is annoying and at times intimidating. I refuse to support any charity that does that to me.  
2. Politicians,  need I say more?
3. Staff in shops that pounce on you the moment you set foot in the door.
4. Websites that are not user friendly, especially those where I have to go searching for a price or how to order.
5. I am vegetarian not a freak. If you don't want to sell food/drink that isn't suitable for us then have the decency to clearly mark your food. I don't like guessing and I certainly do not like wasting money on food.