This may sound like one of those mid life crisis, woe is me wobbles but please be assured that it isn't. I have my own house, a job and would call myself financially secure to the point that I can afford the little luxuries that make life that little bit better. I am not in a relationship but finding the perfect lady seems to be more of a challenge now, or perhaps I need to lower my standards in what I look for in a woman. Answers on a post card to me on that one!
So what is going on apart from being single you may ask? Well I seem to be stuck in one of those ruts which I can't break out of and it is becoming more and more of a bitch. I am the sort of person who refuses to stay still and accept what I have in life, I need more and more importantly I need to know where I am going and what I am going to achieve. I am not going to be one of these people who in 20 or 30 years time has lots of regrets.
Heading towards the grand old age of 33 I need to make a decision as to what is going to happen with my life. Do I stay where I am and maintain the at times uncomfortable status quo, do I change everything and hope that the status quo changes into a life that I am living to the max or do I start again? What do I want in life and how am I going to get it?
I have been living in Norwich now for just under 6 years now. Things have drastically changed for me during that time, the majority of which I don't want to talk about on here. I will say that I am in a great position in life but I am still not where I want to be. I think it would be fair to say that I am living about 70% of the life that I want. One of the major issues is going out in Norwich. Going to the cinema, theatre or a meal is fine and isn't a problem but the sort of events I like tend to be very limited. Some of the scenes I like are none existent. Most people I know in Norwich will say what about clubbing? There are loads of clubs in Norwich. I like chilled out clubs where you can have a drink and fun with friends without getting a huge amount of hassle or having to fight just to move a few inches. I haven't found anything close to what I like in Norwich. It does sadden me to say that I can't remember a single decent night out that has involved clubs in Norwich. I prefer nights out where I don't get abused, feel intimidated, end up on my own or being puked over. This appears to be the norm for me in Norwich.
Moving onto my job, I think we can all say that we have our ups and downs in any job. The thing is that whilst I haven't got a clue what I want to do or where I want to go with my career it does pay rather well. I have checked and in some cases it pays very substantially more than rival companies and this gives me the little luxuries which get me through the bad times. It would be silly of me just to leave a job in this climate, especially when I haven't got a clue what I want to do.
Don't get me wrong Norwich is a good place to live. Good shopping, lots of restaurants, tourist attractions, reasonable cost of living compared to some cities and some quote frankly stunning people. It just doesn't give me that extra edge that I am looking for in a city. I love the madness of London and the chilled out madness that is Dublin. I do have a bit of a thing about the Irish, especially the accent. More importantly I love what both of these major cities have to offer me.
I don't think keeping things as they are is going to work for me very much longer. Likewise I don't think taking lots of risks and making some fairly major changes to my life in Norwich is going to improve things enough for me. I am more than happy to be proven wrong on this by anyone. This for me leaves one option and that is the most drastic option of moving out of Norwich and starting again.
Monday, 31 May 2010
The World Cup
The world cup is almost upon us again and everyone has suddenly found the patriotism that seems to disappear for the vast majority of the year. Everywhere I turn I can see the St Georges flag with companies claiming they are the sponsor of this, that and the other. People who normally wouldn't give a hoot about the country suddenly turn fiercely patriotic and it is expected that you have to support your own country regardless of your normal views.
Now there are allot of people who are going to hate me for saying this and I fully expect to get a fair old amount of abuse as well. I may be British but I will not be supporting England, I certainly won't be displaying anything that would give the impression of supporting England. My views and support will not change even if England go on to wining the world cup. If you are going to support a team then you support them through the good times as well as the bad times. There is nothing worse than someone who only supports a team if they are winning. People also need to remember that I am not the only one with this view and there are a huge amount of people in this country who will support other teams for many reasons.
Who am I supporting? The Republic of Ireland and yes I know they didn't qualify for the World Cup Finals but that doesn't change my views or who I am going to support. I did watch that infamous match and whilst I won't support any other team I will cheer for anyone who scores against France and any team that beats them.
Now there are allot of people who are going to hate me for saying this and I fully expect to get a fair old amount of abuse as well. I may be British but I will not be supporting England, I certainly won't be displaying anything that would give the impression of supporting England. My views and support will not change even if England go on to wining the world cup. If you are going to support a team then you support them through the good times as well as the bad times. There is nothing worse than someone who only supports a team if they are winning. People also need to remember that I am not the only one with this view and there are a huge amount of people in this country who will support other teams for many reasons.
Who am I supporting? The Republic of Ireland and yes I know they didn't qualify for the World Cup Finals but that doesn't change my views or who I am going to support. I did watch that infamous match and whilst I won't support any other team I will cheer for anyone who scores against France and any team that beats them.
Saturday, 29 May 2010
Reflection
It is always a dangerous thing when I start to reflect on my life, the ups, the down, the good points and the bad points and do you know what I think there has been a subtle but significant change in my expectations from life. It is starting to have a fair old impact on my life now and what I want. I think it is a trait of most people that they dream and want more in life, whether it be a bigger house, better car or more money. I like everyone else am the same but have spent the vast majority of my life accepting and making the best of what I had.
I have posted that I have previously been in a position where I lost just about everything I owned and been through many years where my life where everything I did was dictated by the debts I had built up. I have also had stages in my life where bullying and abuse was the norm rather than a rarity. As you will read later on I still have to put up with situations where my treatment is wrong and not justified. As a result of all of this I go through stages where I genuinely believe that I don't deserve anything in life and that I am beneath everyone. It can widely vary and I have started to try and fight against this and get a bit more self respect in my life.
I am not afraid to admit I have very serious difficulty in using any luxury items that I buy and have the few that I have bought have remained unused. There are several reasons why, partly because things like Irish Linen is meant to be shared. The real reason is that I don't want to be in a position where I have nothing in my life again, I don't feel that I deserve to use them and feel more secure with them stored in my bedroom. Yes even that copper pan I was so proud off.
I hate to admit this but there are times and places where I really feel hated by everyone, I may give out the impression to people that this doesn't bother me but it does hurt me. You may think that this is just my insecurity showing through but unfortunately this is based on what people say to me and listening to what others say about me. As a reasonable person I know that I am not going to get on with everyone, there are going to be times where I am not very popular and that some people are going to dislike or hate me. Life would be very boring otherwise but to be given the impression that I am disliked by everyone is just wrong and not to tell me what I have done to deserve this sort of treatment is even worse. One of the best of many examples would be an event I went to where things got so bad that I considered walking out. The highlight of this event was listening to a so called friend refer to me as a "nobody" I am now very reluctant to attend those events again and have not renewed my membership with that Organisation.
With all of this you would be quite right to ask how have things changed in my life? Well to put it simply I want more out of life and am not prepared to accept things as I would have done in the past. I am trying to express this more and fight a bit harder for what I want and believe in. It frustrates and annoys me that people are so short sighted and wish people would look past what I am wearing and my self harming and see the real me. I have ended friendships and removed people from networking sites for upsetting me or making comments where previously I would have accepted it on the basis of at least we are friends. I push more now to be treated better by people and companies rather than backing down at the first sight of resistance.
I have posted that I have previously been in a position where I lost just about everything I owned and been through many years where my life where everything I did was dictated by the debts I had built up. I have also had stages in my life where bullying and abuse was the norm rather than a rarity. As you will read later on I still have to put up with situations where my treatment is wrong and not justified. As a result of all of this I go through stages where I genuinely believe that I don't deserve anything in life and that I am beneath everyone. It can widely vary and I have started to try and fight against this and get a bit more self respect in my life.
I am not afraid to admit I have very serious difficulty in using any luxury items that I buy and have the few that I have bought have remained unused. There are several reasons why, partly because things like Irish Linen is meant to be shared. The real reason is that I don't want to be in a position where I have nothing in my life again, I don't feel that I deserve to use them and feel more secure with them stored in my bedroom. Yes even that copper pan I was so proud off.
I hate to admit this but there are times and places where I really feel hated by everyone, I may give out the impression to people that this doesn't bother me but it does hurt me. You may think that this is just my insecurity showing through but unfortunately this is based on what people say to me and listening to what others say about me. As a reasonable person I know that I am not going to get on with everyone, there are going to be times where I am not very popular and that some people are going to dislike or hate me. Life would be very boring otherwise but to be given the impression that I am disliked by everyone is just wrong and not to tell me what I have done to deserve this sort of treatment is even worse. One of the best of many examples would be an event I went to where things got so bad that I considered walking out. The highlight of this event was listening to a so called friend refer to me as a "nobody" I am now very reluctant to attend those events again and have not renewed my membership with that Organisation.
With all of this you would be quite right to ask how have things changed in my life? Well to put it simply I want more out of life and am not prepared to accept things as I would have done in the past. I am trying to express this more and fight a bit harder for what I want and believe in. It frustrates and annoys me that people are so short sighted and wish people would look past what I am wearing and my self harming and see the real me. I have ended friendships and removed people from networking sites for upsetting me or making comments where previously I would have accepted it on the basis of at least we are friends. I push more now to be treated better by people and companies rather than backing down at the first sight of resistance.
Friday, 21 May 2010
Creating Life
A scientist has created synthetic life in a lab and last night it was being heavily reported in the news. Now obviously this has bought up numerous arguments for and again as well as the usual ethics questions. Not being a scientist I won't be discussing most of the arguments because to be honest I haven't got a clue what I am talking about and would probably make myself look silly.
The argument I will be looking at is the "no one has the right to play god" and the religious influences. Now some people when they are ill will use their faith and prayer to try and recover from any illness and injury which I have no argument with. I don't agree with people refusing life saving treatment because of their beliefs but again I am not going to question this. It is your body and your health at the end of the day.
This is where I am probably going to get a bit controversial but the argument that no one has the right to play god is completely flawed. From what I can see the only people who can use this argument are people who refuse all forms of medical intervention and that includes vaccines and anything preventative including pain relief. I would also ask hasn't man been playing god for hundreds of years now?
There are hundreds of examples that I could use to back up my argument but the first one that comes to mind is IVF. Are we not using science to help others create life? Are we not playing god then? When doctors administer life saving treatment to a person are they not playing god then? I am fairly certain in these cases people are more than happy for doctors to play god. Are we really talking about god here or are we talking about nature? If god made man then surely he gave man the ability to evolve and progress? With that progression has to come the ability to decide on the fate of others and create life regardless of whether it is synthetic or biological life.
I fully agree that all of this progress hasn't always been good, some of it has had a very negative impact on the human race. I am talking about chemical and biological weapons. Again people have used them to play god and decide on who is going to die in a war or terrorist activity. I think if you are going to use an argument against progression in a scientific context then you need to use a scientific argument and not a religious argument which this is.
The argument I will be looking at is the "no one has the right to play god" and the religious influences. Now some people when they are ill will use their faith and prayer to try and recover from any illness and injury which I have no argument with. I don't agree with people refusing life saving treatment because of their beliefs but again I am not going to question this. It is your body and your health at the end of the day.
This is where I am probably going to get a bit controversial but the argument that no one has the right to play god is completely flawed. From what I can see the only people who can use this argument are people who refuse all forms of medical intervention and that includes vaccines and anything preventative including pain relief. I would also ask hasn't man been playing god for hundreds of years now?
There are hundreds of examples that I could use to back up my argument but the first one that comes to mind is IVF. Are we not using science to help others create life? Are we not playing god then? When doctors administer life saving treatment to a person are they not playing god then? I am fairly certain in these cases people are more than happy for doctors to play god. Are we really talking about god here or are we talking about nature? If god made man then surely he gave man the ability to evolve and progress? With that progression has to come the ability to decide on the fate of others and create life regardless of whether it is synthetic or biological life.
I fully agree that all of this progress hasn't always been good, some of it has had a very negative impact on the human race. I am talking about chemical and biological weapons. Again people have used them to play god and decide on who is going to die in a war or terrorist activity. I think if you are going to use an argument against progression in a scientific context then you need to use a scientific argument and not a religious argument which this is.
Wednesday, 19 May 2010
Good thoughts
Having one of those afternoons where my daughters were on the very front of my mind. Not in a stressed out but a chilled out, proud loving sort of way. I ran through the moments after my daughters were born. Them being in my arms with the little woollen hats. I actually have a smile on my face thinking about them, my little angels.
After the last few weeks which can only be described as a roller coaster ride of blips, major blips and complete nose dives it is nice to get back to get back to this stage. The only bemusing side effect is that every time I turn around is that I see a pregnant lady. This happens to me every so often and passes.
I think what I am trying to say is that this has been a good day. I seem to have a bit of calm back in my life.
I am going to sign off for tonight
Michael xx
After the last few weeks which can only be described as a roller coaster ride of blips, major blips and complete nose dives it is nice to get back to get back to this stage. The only bemusing side effect is that every time I turn around is that I see a pregnant lady. This happens to me every so often and passes.
I think what I am trying to say is that this has been a good day. I seem to have a bit of calm back in my life.
I am going to sign off for tonight
Michael xx
Tuesday, 18 May 2010
Humour
Humour is great isn't it? It can make a person smile, laugh or cry. It can improve someone's day or make a meeting. It can also be used to deflect from a situation as I use it for. Yes when things are bad I will act silly or take the piss out of myself to draw peoples attention away from what is happening, such as yesterday.
My favourite is to declare a silly crisis such as my bikkie tweet yesterday:
Ladies and Gentlemen I hereby declare a bikkie crisis. We have no biscuits today! Please feel free to panic in a fashion of your choice.
As of posting this I still feel rough but have biscuits, so all is good!
My favourite is to declare a silly crisis such as my bikkie tweet yesterday:
Ladies and Gentlemen I hereby declare a bikkie crisis. We have no biscuits today! Please feel free to panic in a fashion of your choice.
As of posting this I still feel rough but have biscuits, so all is good!
Monday, 17 May 2010
Flashbacks
Flashbacks are a complete bitch and I have been having them for a couple of years. They can range from me hearing and feeling things that have happened to me right up to me loosing touch with reality and seeing, hearing and acting out what has happened. The worst can last for minutes. Most of the time I am aware of when it is going to happen and the triggers.
Last night I had my worst flashback yet. I completely lost touch with reality and acted out a violent attack. Night turned to day and I felt like I was being strangled, I then felt like I was being hung, I put up a fight and then it felt like I was being strangled again. I actually felt the hands on my throat, the rope and physically fought.
This morning I woke up feeling like I had been strangled and completely stressed out. I made the decision to go to work but had to leave shortly as I felt panicky and not safe. I phoned my doctor and was told I could have an appointment on Friday. I end up going to the walk in centre who said they could offer me little and after a chat they suggested I phoned my therapist after checking I wasn't going to self harm to ground myself. My therapist has phoned me to check on me and we are going to sort it out.
Fortunately this is a rare occurrence for me and the first time I have had to use this approach. I can not and will not fault the nurse I spoke to as she did everything she could. I do feel rather let down by the rest of the NHS. It has taken me nearly 16 hours to get to a point where I feel fully in control again. Had I been in serious distress then what was I supposed to do?
Last night I had my worst flashback yet. I completely lost touch with reality and acted out a violent attack. Night turned to day and I felt like I was being strangled, I then felt like I was being hung, I put up a fight and then it felt like I was being strangled again. I actually felt the hands on my throat, the rope and physically fought.
This morning I woke up feeling like I had been strangled and completely stressed out. I made the decision to go to work but had to leave shortly as I felt panicky and not safe. I phoned my doctor and was told I could have an appointment on Friday. I end up going to the walk in centre who said they could offer me little and after a chat they suggested I phoned my therapist after checking I wasn't going to self harm to ground myself. My therapist has phoned me to check on me and we are going to sort it out.
Fortunately this is a rare occurrence for me and the first time I have had to use this approach. I can not and will not fault the nurse I spoke to as she did everything she could. I do feel rather let down by the rest of the NHS. It has taken me nearly 16 hours to get to a point where I feel fully in control again. Had I been in serious distress then what was I supposed to do?
Sunday, 16 May 2010
I miss my mum
That is a sentence I never thought I would type or say but yes I miss my mum. I haven't seen her for quite a number of years now. I think I was 8 or 9 years old when she took me to school. She took us to the shop and bought me and my brother some sweets. Mine were polos and then she watched us go into school. That evening my dad picked us up from school and we were told.
A few weeks later we got word that she was at my grandmas and we went to visit her. The last time we had any contact from her was a letter saying she was leaving the country. I assume that this was after my parents had divorced. I was frequently reminded about this whilst growing up.
So why am I suddenly missing her? I have missed her on and off for many years now. I wonder if she misses me?, does she ever think about me? does she remember my birthday? Did she marry again and do I have any brothers and sisters? Would she even recognise me? Would she even care?
She has missed so much of my life. The good, bad, ugly and perfect moments. Two grand daughters and a daughter in law she may never know about. My success at the Open University and so much more.
I know she may never read this but I want to her to know that I hope she is well, happy and successful in her life.
A few weeks later we got word that she was at my grandmas and we went to visit her. The last time we had any contact from her was a letter saying she was leaving the country. I assume that this was after my parents had divorced. I was frequently reminded about this whilst growing up.
So why am I suddenly missing her? I have missed her on and off for many years now. I wonder if she misses me?, does she ever think about me? does she remember my birthday? Did she marry again and do I have any brothers and sisters? Would she even recognise me? Would she even care?
She has missed so much of my life. The good, bad, ugly and perfect moments. Two grand daughters and a daughter in law she may never know about. My success at the Open University and so much more.
I know she may never read this but I want to her to know that I hope she is well, happy and successful in her life.
Friday, 14 May 2010
Reminders
I have spoken briefly about this before but wanted to talk about it a bit more now. I have 3 things that help me focus me more in life and remind me how far I have progressed and where I am going.
A few years ago I ended up homeless for a short period of time and was using guest houses to stay in. What most people don't know is that towards the end of this period of time my money started to run out. I may have joked to people about it at the time but things had got so serious that I had walked around the city and chosen where I was going to sleep at night. I chose this spot because it was fairly sheltered and would have protected me and my suitcase.
Fortunately and with a bit of luck I managed to find a place to live. Everything I owned was in one suitcase and I had to sell what hadn't been damaged to give me enough money for the basics until I got paid. Things were sold at a stupidly small price but I had no choice as I had no one to turn to for help. One in particular was a promo cd. A Japanese special sampler by the Corrs which is worth £250 and I ended up selling it for £1.
I have now replaced this CD and all of the possessions that I lost or were sold. To me being able to replace that CD is a reminder of how far I have travelled in my life over the last few years. I have gone from a major crisis point to the position I am now in.
My possessions are only a small part of my life and the biggest reminder that I will ever have and keep is not a CD or anything like that. It is the scars on my arm, they tell me and the world a story that can't always be put into words. The remind me of the most important part of my life and also the most painful. Those few people that I love so much and call my family.
What about where I am now going? Some of you know about my plans to move out of England and back to Ireland. I keep a 5 Euro note on me at all times as a reminder of where I want to go in life and so I can never be without any money again.
A few years ago I ended up homeless for a short period of time and was using guest houses to stay in. What most people don't know is that towards the end of this period of time my money started to run out. I may have joked to people about it at the time but things had got so serious that I had walked around the city and chosen where I was going to sleep at night. I chose this spot because it was fairly sheltered and would have protected me and my suitcase.
Fortunately and with a bit of luck I managed to find a place to live. Everything I owned was in one suitcase and I had to sell what hadn't been damaged to give me enough money for the basics until I got paid. Things were sold at a stupidly small price but I had no choice as I had no one to turn to for help. One in particular was a promo cd. A Japanese special sampler by the Corrs which is worth £250 and I ended up selling it for £1.
I have now replaced this CD and all of the possessions that I lost or were sold. To me being able to replace that CD is a reminder of how far I have travelled in my life over the last few years. I have gone from a major crisis point to the position I am now in.
My possessions are only a small part of my life and the biggest reminder that I will ever have and keep is not a CD or anything like that. It is the scars on my arm, they tell me and the world a story that can't always be put into words. The remind me of the most important part of my life and also the most painful. Those few people that I love so much and call my family.
What about where I am now going? Some of you know about my plans to move out of England and back to Ireland. I keep a 5 Euro note on me at all times as a reminder of where I want to go in life and so I can never be without any money again.
Saturday, 8 May 2010
Tolerance
We are supposed to be living in a more tolerant society today but is this really the case? I was sitting in Trafalgar Square on Thursday and 2 ladies walked past me holding hands, I looked at them and thought aww what a great couple. The first thing I hear after they walked past me was a comment about gays. I have got friends who have been abused because of their sexuality.
Society may have moved on by removing laws that discriminate against people as a result of their sexuality but have people moved on? I am Catholic but my views go against what the Catholic Church and many other faiths say. In some countries the church is so powerful it can dictate how the population act, in this country that is not the case. A generation of people were bought up to hide their sexuality on the basis it was wrong and against the law to be gay but I do not consider this an excuse for people to abuse others. We may live in a society were freedom of speech is enshrined in law but that does not mean that one person can abuse another because of who they are are, to do so is likely to get you arrested.
If to people want to express there feelings in public then why should we view them any differently because it is two men or two women doing it rather than a man and a woman? What is so offensive about it? I could understand if the couple were getting it on or having sex but then again the reaction would be the same if it was a heterosexual couple doing it.
So are we living in a more tolerant society? The evidence appears to show that we still have a long way to go.
Society may have moved on by removing laws that discriminate against people as a result of their sexuality but have people moved on? I am Catholic but my views go against what the Catholic Church and many other faiths say. In some countries the church is so powerful it can dictate how the population act, in this country that is not the case. A generation of people were bought up to hide their sexuality on the basis it was wrong and against the law to be gay but I do not consider this an excuse for people to abuse others. We may live in a society were freedom of speech is enshrined in law but that does not mean that one person can abuse another because of who they are are, to do so is likely to get you arrested.
If to people want to express there feelings in public then why should we view them any differently because it is two men or two women doing it rather than a man and a woman? What is so offensive about it? I could understand if the couple were getting it on or having sex but then again the reaction would be the same if it was a heterosexual couple doing it.
So are we living in a more tolerant society? The evidence appears to show that we still have a long way to go.
Wednesday, 5 May 2010
Change of Tact
I may not be showing it openly but I am having a fair old fight at the moment. My aim is not just to get back on track with everything but actively move forward with my life. I am not prepared to say woe is me and then sit back and do nothing. It isn't who I am.
In the last couple of weeks I have manage to limit the damage done and prevent anything extreme happening. I with the help of my therapist have identified the causes and reasons behind all of the damage. I will be working on these issues and reforming a prevention plan.
I have actively looked for those people those people who have hurt, offended and abused me in the past and severed any possible links with those people. I have removed people who have upset me from Facebook and Twitter. They have also been blocked on other websites.
I have looked at what connections I have with a horrific part of my life and have now removed 95% of them and expect the remainder to go shortly.
Today I openly talked about my daughters, manage to trigger myself and deal with it. I am also looking at certain people and asking why we are friends.
As you can see I am doing a huge amount of positive work and I want to say thankyou to everyone who has and is supporting me.
Michael xx
In the last couple of weeks I have manage to limit the damage done and prevent anything extreme happening. I with the help of my therapist have identified the causes and reasons behind all of the damage. I will be working on these issues and reforming a prevention plan.
I have actively looked for those people those people who have hurt, offended and abused me in the past and severed any possible links with those people. I have removed people who have upset me from Facebook and Twitter. They have also been blocked on other websites.
I have looked at what connections I have with a horrific part of my life and have now removed 95% of them and expect the remainder to go shortly.
Today I openly talked about my daughters, manage to trigger myself and deal with it. I am also looking at certain people and asking why we are friends.
As you can see I am doing a huge amount of positive work and I want to say thankyou to everyone who has and is supporting me.
Michael xx
Monday, 3 May 2010
Election
The election date is almost upon us. We have had politicians running all over the place trying to get votes. There have been embarrassing moments which the media have reported to death and then a bit more just in case we missed it the first missed million times. We can't forget the egg moment and the idiots, sorry hecklers who have gone out of their way to get their 2 minutes of fame in the news. Most if not all made themselves look completely stupid.
What have the politicians been doing to win my vote? Very little. Yes I have had the leaflets from the conservatives, nothing from the Liberal Democrats or Labour and one leaflet from a far right racist party. A few months ago I received responses from both the Conservatives and Liberal Democrats to emails I sent them.
Labour have failed miserably, they haven't even attempted to win my vote so I have to work on the basis of what I have seen of them over the last parliament. I won't be voting for them on that basis.
That just leaves the Conservative and the Liberal Democrats. The Conservatives have been the most responsive to me, however the Liberal Democrats saying about a £10000 personal allowance seriously appeals to me. They are pro Euro as I am but they are against Trident which I fully support.
I will probably make my decision on Thursday when I go to vote.
What have the politicians been doing to win my vote? Very little. Yes I have had the leaflets from the conservatives, nothing from the Liberal Democrats or Labour and one leaflet from a far right racist party. A few months ago I received responses from both the Conservatives and Liberal Democrats to emails I sent them.
Labour have failed miserably, they haven't even attempted to win my vote so I have to work on the basis of what I have seen of them over the last parliament. I won't be voting for them on that basis.
That just leaves the Conservative and the Liberal Democrats. The Conservatives have been the most responsive to me, however the Liberal Democrats saying about a £10000 personal allowance seriously appeals to me. They are pro Euro as I am but they are against Trident which I fully support.
I will probably make my decision on Thursday when I go to vote.
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