Is there ever a happy ending in life? If there is such a thing then can someone please show me? It is Christmas eve and I have completed my preparations, I have given out all of my presents. I have bought food in and treated myself within my very tight and limited budget. The problem is that I am alone and I don’t want to be on my own.
Tonight is one of those nights where I wish it had been me and not my wife and daughters who had died. I know she wouldn’t be sitting on her own, she and Orfhlaith would be with her family. The chances are that she would be having a drink and maybe making final preparations for Christmas day. I know she would been having a great time.
As I have said Christmas is a time for families and the situation I am in is completely out of my control but it sucks. Seriously sucks if I am being honest. I have done everything in my power to change it but at this moment in time there is nothing I can do about it. All I want is to be able to have a decent Christmas surrounded by loved ones and not have to resort to buying presents for myself just so I don’t end up completely humiliated when people ask me.
I know this probably sounds like a woe is me post and yes I am feeling a bit down, perhaps I am suffering from a bit of melancholy. I am most certainly missing my family and yes I am feeling sorrowful. This is more than that, it is me saying I am fed up with this and I want more. So yet again I am turning this into a positive thing!
I am sure no one will fault me for wanting more in life.
Friday, 24 December 2010
Sunday, 19 December 2010
Letter to Santa
Dear Santa
I may or may not have been good this year. I know there are times that I have been very bad as well as very very good. So dude if you have taken me off the non list and put me on a list that means I actually get a visit from you then I would like to ask for the following.
An original mint Beatles vinyl with the song let it be on
An original Minton fire place tile, the Romeo and Juliet scene from the Shakespeare series
A set of Irish linen sheets
Hot chocolate from Butlers, 5 boxes should be enough
An Armani jumper
A wallet from Mont Blanc
If I am on your naughty list then could I also have a pair of handcuffs and a box of candles please. There is a beer chilling for you in case you are thirsty when you arrive. I am sure one of the elves could drive for you?
Cheers
Michael
I may or may not have been good this year. I know there are times that I have been very bad as well as very very good. So dude if you have taken me off the non list and put me on a list that means I actually get a visit from you then I would like to ask for the following.
An original mint Beatles vinyl with the song let it be on
An original Minton fire place tile, the Romeo and Juliet scene from the Shakespeare series
A set of Irish linen sheets
Hot chocolate from Butlers, 5 boxes should be enough
An Armani jumper
A wallet from Mont Blanc
If I am on your naughty list then could I also have a pair of handcuffs and a box of candles please. There is a beer chilling for you in case you are thirsty when you arrive. I am sure one of the elves could drive for you?
Cheers
Michael
Tis the season
Not long until Christmas and I hope everyone is ready? I wasn’t planning on treating myself to anything until my income was back to decent levels. To keep the peace and stop everyone continually having a go I have now treated myself to the following.
A scarf
A pair of Armani socks
A strainer for my kitchen
Salt on DVD
Every year I try my best to make Christmas as special as possible and this year was going to be the same, minus spending money on myself. If we exclude the strainer which I needed the money I have spent on the other things could have been put towards something I really wanted. Admittedly it would have been bought after Christmas.
This year has been fairly consistent for me, in which I mean I have been in the wrong 99.99% of the time. I have even managed to upset people by buying them presents. I am also waiting for the abuse from my step mother about buying her a gift. This will be the first year that I have managed to fail in the two basic expectations that I have each year. I have now thrown everything I have in the year and given up. I know you can’t please all of the people all of the time but it would have been nice to please one or two people.
Now dear reader I must put the breaks on this post and say but, yes there is always a but. I am going to do another list so everything is very clear.
I now have 120 credits at university which is an achievement.
I have and continue to develop my music tastes.
I have got back into cooking and try to cook from scratch rather than ready meals.
I am emotionally stronger than have been for a long time.
I have some good friends
I am more at peace with my family.
My faith is getting stronger and stronger.
I am still getting the odd tweet from celebrities
I have said before that in my humble opinion Christmas is about family and celebrating with them. Well I can’t go back to Nottingham because of my step mother, I am not going to ruin my dads Christmas by spending the entire time at war with his wife. I can’t spend time with my natural mother, again this is another situation that is out of my control. I would love to spend time with my true family but as we know that would be very difficult. This is my situation and no I am not looking for sympathy.
Now this Christmas I am going to cook myself a decent and special meal. I have decided that I will go to mass on Christmas day. I will have placed the decorations on the Christmas tree for my daughters. I hope the presents I have given out will add to the recipients Christmas. I will have a candle lit for my family all day and will have a drink or six. I will be sending messages to everyone I know on Twitter and possibly Facebook. So no I won’t be having a perfect Christmas and it will be far from extravagant. It won’t be anywhere close to the Christmas other people are having but what it will be is special.
If I have any message then I would say enjoy your Christmas however big it may be. I know I will be enjoying mine.
A scarf
A pair of Armani socks
A strainer for my kitchen
Salt on DVD
Every year I try my best to make Christmas as special as possible and this year was going to be the same, minus spending money on myself. If we exclude the strainer which I needed the money I have spent on the other things could have been put towards something I really wanted. Admittedly it would have been bought after Christmas.
This year has been fairly consistent for me, in which I mean I have been in the wrong 99.99% of the time. I have even managed to upset people by buying them presents. I am also waiting for the abuse from my step mother about buying her a gift. This will be the first year that I have managed to fail in the two basic expectations that I have each year. I have now thrown everything I have in the year and given up. I know you can’t please all of the people all of the time but it would have been nice to please one or two people.
Now dear reader I must put the breaks on this post and say but, yes there is always a but. I am going to do another list so everything is very clear.
I now have 120 credits at university which is an achievement.
I have and continue to develop my music tastes.
I have got back into cooking and try to cook from scratch rather than ready meals.
I am emotionally stronger than have been for a long time.
I have some good friends
I am more at peace with my family.
My faith is getting stronger and stronger.
I am still getting the odd tweet from celebrities
I have said before that in my humble opinion Christmas is about family and celebrating with them. Well I can’t go back to Nottingham because of my step mother, I am not going to ruin my dads Christmas by spending the entire time at war with his wife. I can’t spend time with my natural mother, again this is another situation that is out of my control. I would love to spend time with my true family but as we know that would be very difficult. This is my situation and no I am not looking for sympathy.
Now this Christmas I am going to cook myself a decent and special meal. I have decided that I will go to mass on Christmas day. I will have placed the decorations on the Christmas tree for my daughters. I hope the presents I have given out will add to the recipients Christmas. I will have a candle lit for my family all day and will have a drink or six. I will be sending messages to everyone I know on Twitter and possibly Facebook. So no I won’t be having a perfect Christmas and it will be far from extravagant. It won’t be anywhere close to the Christmas other people are having but what it will be is special.
If I have any message then I would say enjoy your Christmas however big it may be. I know I will be enjoying mine.
Sunday, 12 December 2010
A Right Royal F**k up
Something went very badly wrong during the protests the other day. A group of protesters attacked a car containing Prince Charles and his wife Camilla. We have now had it confirmed that physical contact was made with Camilla as well as the damage to the car. We also know that royal protection officers were following in a separate car.
The car gets attacked and all hell breaks loose, we see normal police officers trying to control the situation and failing miserably. My question is where were the protection officers during this? They are armed and it is their job to protect the royals. That is what they are paid for!
Where would be now if there was someone in that crowd intent on killing a royal, it wouldn't have been the first time that there has been an attempt on a royals life. We could now be looking at the death or serious injury of a very senior member of the royal family.
Heads need to roll over this and I am not just talking about the idiots in the crowd.
The car gets attacked and all hell breaks loose, we see normal police officers trying to control the situation and failing miserably. My question is where were the protection officers during this? They are armed and it is their job to protect the royals. That is what they are paid for!
Where would be now if there was someone in that crowd intent on killing a royal, it wouldn't have been the first time that there has been an attempt on a royals life. We could now be looking at the death or serious injury of a very senior member of the royal family.
Heads need to roll over this and I am not just talking about the idiots in the crowd.
Christmas part 2
It takes me ages to find the perfect presents for everyone at Christmas. I have been known to spend a day just looking for the perfect gift for someone. This year I had planned on making sure I gave everyone extra special gifts. Even with the issues I have had this year I have managed to improve on the gifts I bought everyone last year. I have wrapped them and I will be giving them out over the next week.
I have chosen the baubles for both of my daughters and they will be placed on the christmas tree as soon as I have chance to put it up. I have donated as much as I can to the charities that I can afford to give to. I will have more than enough food over Christmas and the new year. I will be making myself a trifle from scratch so all is good.
I know that if I am lucky I will receive a gift from my dad, I have deliberately asked for the smallest and cheapest possible present. I will not be treating myself as I am currently punishing myself. I needed an excuse not to buy myself anything and I have now got two very good reasons. I got upset when trying to sponsor a candle at the Lights of Love services. Even worse I seriously struggled trying to walk up Mansfield Road in Nottingham. I need to give myself a fucking good kicking, get a grip and move on. There are things that I would love to buy but I will go without.
When I have more money and not punishing myself I will buy myself something decent. Until then I will have the best possible Christmas and you should have an amazing, fantastic Christmas.
Michael xx
I have chosen the baubles for both of my daughters and they will be placed on the christmas tree as soon as I have chance to put it up. I have donated as much as I can to the charities that I can afford to give to. I will have more than enough food over Christmas and the new year. I will be making myself a trifle from scratch so all is good.
I know that if I am lucky I will receive a gift from my dad, I have deliberately asked for the smallest and cheapest possible present. I will not be treating myself as I am currently punishing myself. I needed an excuse not to buy myself anything and I have now got two very good reasons. I got upset when trying to sponsor a candle at the Lights of Love services. Even worse I seriously struggled trying to walk up Mansfield Road in Nottingham. I need to give myself a fucking good kicking, get a grip and move on. There are things that I would love to buy but I will go without.
When I have more money and not punishing myself I will buy myself something decent. Until then I will have the best possible Christmas and you should have an amazing, fantastic Christmas.
Michael xx
Love is more important than money
Some may think we live in a classless society but in reality the case is far from it. Although things aren’t quite like they were in the victorian ages we still have defined classes. People are judged by their status within society. People who do progress within society and those who gain substantial wealth will obviously do everything they can to protect it. Quite rightly so!
Now I have always made it clear that I know my place in society and like everyone else I will continue to progress to the higher levels in society. I was asked previously if I would sign a pre nuptial agreement if I was to marry someone who was substantially wealthier and higher than me in society. Just to explain a pre nuptial agreement is designed to protect one or both parties in a marriage. It covers property, finances and possibly custody of any children. It can include penalties if one person say commits adultery.
Now I firmly believe that marriage should be on the basis of mutual love, trust and respect. I am the sort of person who would never marry for money, so much so that I would question myself and my reasoning if the thought did ever cross my mind. Marrying just for money is in my opinion a deception, a fraud and a violation of the sanctity of marriage.
A prenuptial agreement may be there as a form of protection but in my opinion it also shows that there is a lack of trust. It may only be a niggling amount but it does show that one partner doesn’t fully trust the other. I then believe it is up to the person asking to reassure the person being asked that they do trust them and that it is going to be an equal marriage once the agreement has been signed. If anything they have got a harder job afterwards.
So back to the original question would I sign a pre nuptial agreement? Without a doubt yes I would. To prove my commitment and point I would want it written out in a way which meant that I did not benefit financially or otherwise from either entering into the marriage or from it’s ending. The ball would then be firmly in her court.
Now I have always made it clear that I know my place in society and like everyone else I will continue to progress to the higher levels in society. I was asked previously if I would sign a pre nuptial agreement if I was to marry someone who was substantially wealthier and higher than me in society. Just to explain a pre nuptial agreement is designed to protect one or both parties in a marriage. It covers property, finances and possibly custody of any children. It can include penalties if one person say commits adultery.
Now I firmly believe that marriage should be on the basis of mutual love, trust and respect. I am the sort of person who would never marry for money, so much so that I would question myself and my reasoning if the thought did ever cross my mind. Marrying just for money is in my opinion a deception, a fraud and a violation of the sanctity of marriage.
A prenuptial agreement may be there as a form of protection but in my opinion it also shows that there is a lack of trust. It may only be a niggling amount but it does show that one partner doesn’t fully trust the other. I then believe it is up to the person asking to reassure the person being asked that they do trust them and that it is going to be an equal marriage once the agreement has been signed. If anything they have got a harder job afterwards.
So back to the original question would I sign a pre nuptial agreement? Without a doubt yes I would. To prove my commitment and point I would want it written out in a way which meant that I did not benefit financially or otherwise from either entering into the marriage or from it’s ending. The ball would then be firmly in her court.
Sunday, 5 December 2010
Christmas
Today I had the unfortunate pleasure of reading an article in a newspaper where a woman who claimed she was middle class, earning barely £500 a week and couldn’t afford Christmas. In the article it talks about her shopping in Harrods and having several properties at one point. This story went around twitter and other networks at high speed resulting in a huge amount of vitriol against this person and the paper, most of it justified. It was a very whiney, self indulgent and bordering on delusional.
My dream is to have what I call a proper Christmas. I was going to try and take another step closer to that dream this Christmas. My plan was to buy extra special presents for everyone, get the best possible food in and give a better donations to my favourite charities. I would normally buy myself something extra special
For various reasons this is not going to happen. Money is now extremely tight and there are other factors that I don’t have influence on. I am not happy about it but I have accepted this and I am now going to make the best of what I have.
I have a very strict budget that I am not prepared to spend a penny over. I have chosen who I will be buying gifts for and bought the best that I can for them. I have had to reduce the donations I make to charity and I do feel guilty about it. I am not going to buy the luxury food that I wanted. I am currently trying to work out if I can afford to buy myself anything.
So the reality for me is that I will be on my own over Christmas. I may receive a single very small gift if I am lucky from my parents. If I am lucky I may be able buy myself a treat.
Are there things I want for Christmas? Yes, of course there are things I would love for Christmas but again I am not going to whine because I won’t be getting any of them. I will save my money and buy myself everything.
Am I going to get all whiney about my situation? As I have said before I am not happy about my situation but I am not going to whine about it. Hopefully the gifts that I give will brighten up peoples days a tiny bit. The donations I have given and will give will help the charities I support. I won’t be going hungry and I have a roof over my head. I have considered others before myself which is what I have been taught is the right thing to do.
My dream is to have what I call a proper Christmas. I was going to try and take another step closer to that dream this Christmas. My plan was to buy extra special presents for everyone, get the best possible food in and give a better donations to my favourite charities. I would normally buy myself something extra special
For various reasons this is not going to happen. Money is now extremely tight and there are other factors that I don’t have influence on. I am not happy about it but I have accepted this and I am now going to make the best of what I have.
I have a very strict budget that I am not prepared to spend a penny over. I have chosen who I will be buying gifts for and bought the best that I can for them. I have had to reduce the donations I make to charity and I do feel guilty about it. I am not going to buy the luxury food that I wanted. I am currently trying to work out if I can afford to buy myself anything.
So the reality for me is that I will be on my own over Christmas. I may receive a single very small gift if I am lucky from my parents. If I am lucky I may be able buy myself a treat.
Are there things I want for Christmas? Yes, of course there are things I would love for Christmas but again I am not going to whine because I won’t be getting any of them. I will save my money and buy myself everything.
Am I going to get all whiney about my situation? As I have said before I am not happy about my situation but I am not going to whine about it. Hopefully the gifts that I give will brighten up peoples days a tiny bit. The donations I have given and will give will help the charities I support. I won’t be going hungry and I have a roof over my head. I have considered others before myself which is what I have been taught is the right thing to do.
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