It takes me ages to find the perfect presents for everyone at Christmas. I have been known to spend a day just looking for the perfect gift for someone. This year I had planned on making sure I gave everyone extra special gifts. Even with the issues I have had this year I have managed to improve on the gifts I bought everyone last year. I have wrapped them and I will be giving them out over the next week.
I have chosen the baubles for both of my daughters and they will be placed on the christmas tree as soon as I have chance to put it up. I have donated as much as I can to the charities that I can afford to give to. I will have more than enough food over Christmas and the new year. I will be making myself a trifle from scratch so all is good.
I know that if I am lucky I will receive a gift from my dad, I have deliberately asked for the smallest and cheapest possible present. I will not be treating myself as I am currently punishing myself. I needed an excuse not to buy myself anything and I have now got two very good reasons. I got upset when trying to sponsor a candle at the Lights of Love services. Even worse I seriously struggled trying to walk up Mansfield Road in Nottingham. I need to give myself a fucking good kicking, get a grip and move on. There are things that I would love to buy but I will go without.
When I have more money and not punishing myself I will buy myself something decent. Until then I will have the best possible Christmas and you should have an amazing, fantastic Christmas.
Michael xx
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