Is there ever a happy ending in life? If there is such a thing then can someone please show me? It is Christmas eve and I have completed my preparations, I have given out all of my presents. I have bought food in and treated myself within my very tight and limited budget. The problem is that I am alone and I don’t want to be on my own.
Tonight is one of those nights where I wish it had been me and not my wife and daughters who had died. I know she wouldn’t be sitting on her own, she and Orfhlaith would be with her family. The chances are that she would be having a drink and maybe making final preparations for Christmas day. I know she would been having a great time.
As I have said Christmas is a time for families and the situation I am in is completely out of my control but it sucks. Seriously sucks if I am being honest. I have done everything in my power to change it but at this moment in time there is nothing I can do about it. All I want is to be able to have a decent Christmas surrounded by loved ones and not have to resort to buying presents for myself just so I don’t end up completely humiliated when people ask me.
I know this probably sounds like a woe is me post and yes I am feeling a bit down, perhaps I am suffering from a bit of melancholy. I am most certainly missing my family and yes I am feeling sorrowful. This is more than that, it is me saying I am fed up with this and I want more. So yet again I am turning this into a positive thing!
I am sure no one will fault me for wanting more in life.
No comments:
Post a Comment