Ramblings

I have been trying to write this blog on and off all day and the only way I can really do anything is by putting some random thoughts in the blog. The may not make sense but I need to vent and relieve some of the building frustration I am feeling.

Today I weep for a lady who is in my heart, she is the mother of my eldest daughter and someone who gave me so much in life.
I can define the exact moment I fell in love with my wife, the moment I bonded with my daughter and the moment that my lifetime of personal pain started.
I would go through all the pain, rejection, abandonment, hurt and suffering I have been through in my life ten times over to spend just a few minutes with my wife and daughters again.
If I talk about spending lots of money shopping then it means I am stressed and there is a problem. If I actually start it means I have lost control of the situation.
I have successfully resuscitated a friend who had a broken neck.
I have changed so much because of what has happened to me over the last few years. I still struggle to ask for simple things like a hug.
Listening to the violin can very quickly improve my mood.
I am a friend of an art academy in Ireland, I import tea and hot chocolate from Ireland.
I have a Vanity Fair print to remind me of my wife. It is the first purchase towards my eventual home.
I don’t believe in using prayer mats, the cold hard concrete helps me focus.
Contrary to popular belief I am neutral on the royal family.
I find accents very attractive and the wrong sort of accent can put me off someone.
I am trying to double the amount of money I give to charity this year.
I have found that the longer I am vegetarian the less appealing meat has become. I can watch a cookery programme and see some meat being cooked and it will mean nothing to me.
I still fear being back in a position where I am on the streets, no one for support, have lost everything and on the brink of sleeping rough.