Inner strength?

I have been told that Depression is not a sign of weakness, it is a sign that you have been trying to be strong for too long. I am not sure wether I would be classed as being depressed, the one thing I do know is that I have been using a huge amount of strength for a very long time now. I have made a huge amount of progress and done it on my own. Looking at the situation I am in at the moment I think opening up and talking about what is going on wouldn’t be a weakness more of a failure to protect myself. I don’t think there is anyone around me that I can trust enough to talk about it anyway and no it isn’t meant as an insult.

I have a problem that I am prepared to talk about though. My inner strength which is something I heavily rely on has completely collapsed. The little bit of peace I had is wavering badly. It doesn’t help that my usual weekly routine has now been thrown out for nearly a month now. Once a week when in the city I visit one place where I can practice the central part of my faith, get my focus back and reinforce the peace I have. This is vital for me, the benefits are huge for the time and effort involved. Today I really needed to do this as when I am feeling like this, it gives me the help I need. Yet again I was prevented due to the noise, people working and not being able to fully do what I need. There isn’t a plan b for me with this as nothing else works as well. I haven’t got a clue how to get this back under control now.

I am now at the point where I think my only option now is to travel out of Norwich to London. Apart from Dublin it is the one location where I will be able to do what I need to do to get this under control and my strength back. Going to London for the day is expensive even for a few hours, especially when money is very tight so that isn’t really an option. Please forgive me but I need to go now and have a mini melt down. I need to release some of the pain.