By the end of last week I knew I was heading for a bit of relapse with my self injuring, well when I say bit of a relapse I mean a full on nose dive towards oblivion. The urges to do damage to myself had become overwhelming. I decided during the day on Saturday that I was going to have to do something extreme to get things back under control and me levelled out.
I have written in detail about the self injuring, the methods I use and the measures I have in place to prevent it happening and aid my recovery. There is a seperate side to what I do which really can't be defined as self injuring as it isn't something I can do on my own. It is partly about sex and I do get some kicks out of it initially but it would be impossible to get anything out of the extremes that I go to. The method I used at the weekend resulted in me passing out. What I did doesn't particularly hurt but it does leave me a bit of a wreck emotionally.
The positive thing is that it worked, I have managed to stop myself taking the nose dive. I have prevented ending up in the mess that was going to happen and the focus has been moved onto more manageable things.
Today it has really hit me hard.
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