I love my true family more than life itself, I would have happily given then my last breath and would still give everything to hold them in my arms again. There can be no doubt over this and I will spend the rest of my life with the pain of loosing them. So I am sure I can be forgiven for saying this but I really hate this time of the year.
I have to spend 99.99% of my time considering everyone's feelings before my families or even mine. It would be so much easier if I was in a city full of strangers at least then I could really do what I want for my family. More importantly I would be able to deal with the huge amount of raw emotions that I have to go through. To put it simply I am fed up of having to keep everyone happy whilst feeling like I am neglecting my family and certainly neglecting myself. I am getting more and more stressed out and normally this leads to severe damage.
I know there are people who do genuinely care and I appreciate it more than I can say. Please understand that I have to get through March without any damage. Doing damage over my family normally results in a trip to hospital and I am waiting to see the surgeons again over the damage I did last year.
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