Anyone who has read my blog will know about about March 8th and my reaction to it this year. I am still suffering the consequences of my suicide attempt. My therapist says I was probably my most dangerous and lowest point since the birth and death of my eldest daughter and my wife. There are other dates but none of them are as bad as March 8th with one exception. The exception is 31st December.
Nothing specific has happened to me or anyone I love on this date, yet I have a passionate dislike of the new year. The ghosts of all the bad things that have happened to me kick off in a big way. In March I have loads of support, in the new year I have none. I have never liked new years eve! March is about grief and loss, new year isn't.
The best way I can describe it is fighting against myself. It starts as a niggle and has been that way for a few days now. The urges to self harm have started. This year I am determined to get through without any problems. If anything to prove to the world that I can do this.
I have every faith in you. You can do it.
ReplyDelete(Boxing Day for me, not as severe, but I can understand how you feel.)
You can do it Michael. Here if you need me. Great BIG ((HUGS))
ReplyDeleteI hope tonight goes as well as possible for you.
ReplyDeletePlease let me know if there's anything I can do. You have my support, 100%
xDFNx