At one point the moment the urges started I would cut, burn or bruise myself. I would say that at this point I was probably self harming and getting the release 3 or more times a day. The way it goes for me is or was should I say. I get the urges, I self harm, I get the release I need, my mood crashes and the cycle continues. This is the addiction!
Below are some of my distraction methods that I tend to use when things get bad with the urges.
- Ignoring the urges
- Deciding you are going to self harm and mentally planning it (unusual but works)
- Listening to music (Jazz seems to work for me)
- Going for a fast walk/run or excercise
- Sex
- Talking about it, being honest about the cause.
- Reading, writing, drawing
- Hot chocolate
- Damage limitation
My year has started taking a bit of a nose dive with sickness, the previous injuries being a mare, splitting up with my other half and my therapy sessions turning into a complete train wreck. I am now danerously close to using damage limitation.
Damage limitation is a bit risk as it can fail, cause injuries and ultimatley make matters worse. In my case it maybe the only option. There is no point being referred for further medical treatment on my arm if I am still damaging it.
Well you know I'd disagree with that ;) The thing is, it's a bit difficult to say "self harm is addictive", because for many people it is and for many others it isn't. The important bit is that you make sure people know you're only talking about your own self harm i.e. "my self harm is addictive" rather than a blanket statement. The reason I think it's important to make the distinction is because a lot of people have spent years trying to dispel myths about self harm - the belief that it's always addictive included - and when someone who self harms speaks out about self harm they are usually taken to be an expert in the eyes of someone who knows nothing about it. Therefore anyone listening would go away thinking everyone who self harms is addicted, which isn't the case.
ReplyDeleteOpinion over. ;)
I do hope you find a way to get through this bit, I know you're having a really hard time at the moment and for what it's worth I think you're doing great to write out a list of possible distractions and trying to think through how to minimise any potential risk. If it's useful to you, there's hoobloads of harm minimisation info here (you don't need to become a member to read the info) and you know where to get hold of me if you want to talk through anything else.
*sends wine gums*
Take care of you, keep on strutting xx
You know what I did to counter the self harm bit... got the most harmed part of my body... (my left forearm) tattooed... now every time I get the urge, it jus passes cos I really don't want to spoil the work of art on my body... :)
ReplyDeleteIf self harming IS addictive, wouldn't that be the endorphin-type rush doing it? and if so, aren't there other things that might give you the same kind of rush?
ReplyDeleteCan you go climb a wall at a gym? something like that? Do some boxing, maybe?
You know what it looks like down in the bad bit. You don't need to go there again to see. ::hugs::