Moving on

The last few years have been really difficult for me, some of the things I have posted and openly talked about. Some of the other stuff I can't post as I don't want to put you off your dinner as it is horrific, some of it I will take to the grave with me and the rest I feel will probably bore you as much as it did me when going through it. The theme is me being put through hell and then being given a bloody good kicking for the trouble.

Now with a few very rare exceptions I have been let down or abused by just about everyone I trusted, called my friend or family. Most of the minor stuff I have forgotten about and moved on but there have been a few very major things that any reasonable person would have very serious issues with. Also with some people it hasn't just been one thing, it has been repeated to the point that the only person who believes anything they say or do is themselves. It wouldn't be an exaggeration to say I have wanted to slap a few people over what they have done.

There is one sentence that I have heard so many times it now bores me. That sentence is "I will make it up to you" or a similar sentence. Evidence shows that in 99.99% of cases this isn't true, admittedly sometimes this is because there is nothing that person can do to change what they have done. A genuine sorry is a very very rare thing, I doubt that some people even know how to say it.

This blog isn't about me hurling abuse at these people because I doubt they appreciate the hurt and suffering that they have caused. This is about me moving on and ending as much of the hurt as possible. I have to do this my way and in my own time but it will happen for everyone no matter what they have done to me or my family. Hatred is a very extreme emotion and takes allot of time, focus and energy and I have been carrying a huge amount of it for quite a period of time now.

I respect people more if they hold their hands up and apologise when they have done something wrong. My reaction maybe anger initially but I tend to move on very quickly. If I have done something wrong it is precisely what I do and normally includes making amends. What I don't do is lie through my teeth and make matters worse.

As I have previously said I need to move on from that point in my life. I am afraid that will mean excluding quite a number of people out of my life, I am only prepared to give these people so much. Now I can only say it so many times but I don't expect, need or want anything from these people. I seriously believe my life will be a better place without them in it, regardless of their opinion on the matter. In the future I want good, genuine and honest people in my life. We may have our ups and downs but with a foundation based on mutual trust and respect we can get through any bad times.

There is a flip side and more positive part to my blog today. I have met and continue to meet some really nice people and long may our friendships continue.