After hitting a brick wall at 70mph last Thursday I have managed to sort out the mess that was created using a mixutre of sheer defiance, questioning my actions, distraction and damage minimisation. The annoying thing is that my brain started kicking off over something I know is the right thing to do. This is more than just knowing that I am doing the right thing, the facts back it up. Plus if someone else tried to prevent me from doing what I know works with my daughters we would have an issue. To put it mildly I would kick off in the biggest and most public way possible. I plan to take steps to ensure when it would have been my youngest daughters birthday in August I will do whatever I consider necesscary to get through it. It may have taken a week to get it back under control but I have done.
After dealing with that it hit me again, this time even harder. The sheer amount of things I have been through, had inflicted on me or lived through is horrific. Not just my family or Amy but a huge amount of other stuff that is to graphic for me to talk about on this blog. Some of it I wouldn't change but there are loads and loads that can't be changed. I am the one left to repair the damage and fixed what is broken.
You will have to forgive me if I remain fairly quiet on here but I am really fucked off with the world and the world isn't helping matters.
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