Yesterday I did something that I should have done a long time ago and ended a very friendship that had lasted over 9 years. Throughout my life I have been through abuse that has resulted in a need for love and attention that means I tend to repeatedly go back to those who hurt and abuse me. I am not sure if the fault is with me or those who have abused me but that isn’t important at the moment. What is important is what I am doing about it.
My friend and I were very close and had been through a huge amount together and our friendship would develop into more when she left her husband, I would end up being heartbroken every time she went back to him. I accepted this was part of our friendship and would ignore my feelings when it happened.
The comment I previously posted about was “I hope that makes you pregnant” and I knew then I had said the wrong thing even though it was so significant to me. I am sure I don't need to go into further detals about the where and when. I was cast iron in my decision not to have any more children and very public with it. With her I would have changed that decision.
There was the incident recently which resulted in me being assaulted, I was given a very clear message but she laid it on thick. She said allot of things and great, sorry no make that stunning sex. Things started getting public but it didn’t take me a huge amount of time to find out that she was lying yet again. I have been made to look very silly and that is where my limit is.
Regardless of what is happening inside, this time I am not prepared to take it. I am really angry with myself but livid with her. I have lost my final close friend but hopefully gained some self respect.
No comments:
Post a Comment