I have to do something!

There has to be a point where a person says enough is enough, we all have this point but some of us take longer to get there than others. I freely admit that at the moment I am in a very bad mood, to put it bluntly I am pissed off and have decided to do something about it. I am not sure how long it will last for, but for now I am saying enough is enough.  I can't change the past or the way people have treated me, I can however change the present and perhaps the future.

People needed cheering up or motivating? Michael was the one with the chocolate and cakes. People need stationery? Michael was the one to supply it. People need support? Michael is there offering everything that he can. Major incident, crisis or general f**k up? Yep, you guessed it! Michael is knee deep in it sorting everything out.

The first thing I hear people cry is "No one asked you to do anything" Well in numerous cases they did ask me, in others it was expected of me. Either way it never stopped every man, woman and their dog criticising, blaming, and generally making me as miserable as possible. I am talking about the very major stuff there before anyone starts. I could put money on there being very few people out there being treated so badly after dealing with a major incident that they ended up sending written and verbal apologies to everyone. With the little stuff like the cakes and stationery do it so often it becomes expected and unappreciated.  

Do I regret my actions in these events? Far from it no and I would do the same again. I did wrongly assume that in certain cases after I had finished dealing with the big stuff that I would have a bit of support dealing with the personal damage caused.  I certainly didn't expect the actions and behaviours of certain people who have forced me into this position and are the cause of my anger. This I do regret, I also regret that I am in the position now where I have to deal with 99.99% of this in secret but that is the price of my actions. I also deeply regret the times where I can't keep things locked down and hidden, I do try my best to keep within the social norms and hide the horrible stuff from everyone.   When it does rear it's head you can guarantee I regret it. 

I have to do something to try and ease my ever increasing anger over what has happened and what continues to happen. It doesn't mean I am turning into a cold hearted, selfish excuse of a man. There are people out there that I will always try my best to help them, if they need me I will assist them. Until my anger subsides I am afraid I won't be the one who steps up for the vast majority of people and times.

I am feeling quite mixed up at the moment but doing something is better than doing nothing.