aftermath

I got through this years major anniversary without any major problems if we exclude the IBS attack that I am suffering with. Yet again absoutley no support, not even a simple text from my family. I am not complaning as it was expected even though it does dissappoint me. I would like to thank everyone who did send me messages, I appreciate them all.

This year has taught me so much and I would like to share my thoughts with you. I believe in family yet those who claim to be mine have failed me to many times. The phrase blood is thicker than water maybe true but this has been tested now beyond breaking point! I should be able to turn to my family but yet I have to rely on my friends and therapist for what little support I have.

I think I have previously posted that it has been a year since I have injured myself over my true family. The urges to do damage to myself over this period of time start and drastically increase to the point that it is a fight to control them. I will have to find a way to control this.

I live in the wrong city, to much has happened and it feels like a city that hates me. There is nothing but pain for me. There is so much I want to do but I am prevented from doing it by so much. I am calmer and more at peace when in Ireland so it seems illogical that I stay here for much longer.

On a plus point I have now become a friend of http://www.royalhibernianacademy.ie/ and bought a new rugby top, food, cds, stationery and some rather expensive socks.