Yet again I am having to move the focus away from dealing with my friends death. I have tried openly talking about Amy before but ended up stamping things down because I couldn't cope with the emotions and it felt like people were turning on me. This time I have tried dealing with it on my own, whilst I have made a tiny amount of progress I have got to the point again where I can't cope. I don't want to get to the point where I end up turning on myself over this, I have done enough damage to myself already.
I am angry with Amy, I understand she had been attacked but she didn't need to hang herself. She didn't need to do it the way she did it! She could have phoned us, she could have phoned an ambulance or the police, she could have gone to a neighbour! No she chooses to hang herself knowing full well that it would have been me or my other half would find her. This may sound like I am being nasty but it is the way that I really feel at the moment.
The other issue that I have is that I have daily reminders of what happened with Amy. There are more triggers that set off flashbacks and I feel very pressured to fix everything and move on.
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