During my therapy sessions we are currently trying to challenge some of my most destructive thoughts and feelings. Some of them are quite evil and obviously these thoughts are not constant but when they start things tend to get quite difficult for me. I thought I would share some of them with you.
I need to self harm
No one would weep over my dead body
No one likes me
I need the release I get when I self harm
No one has ever been proud of me
I need to punish myself for failing my daughters
I haven't achieved anything.
"you are hopeless, useless, a wimp, failure" Normally said by my parents several times a day
I didn't push myself hard enough when I attempted suicide, therefore I am a failure
Evil aren't they, some of them are just fucked up? Most of them are easy enough to challenge when I am thinking straight and logically, even when I am not thinking straight and wobbling I am able to dismiss some of them. There are some though that are pure evil and they are the ones I am working on at the moment.
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