Broken

It has been a while since my last blog so I thought I would post an update as to what is going on with me. If I could put it in one sentence i would say I am broken. I think the alarm bells went off when I had to self harm just to get through the day. I went into work on the Monday and got sent home, the same happened again on the Tuesday. I have been off work for just over a week now and can only describe myself as seriously wound up with no voice.

I am having some quite serious flashbacks now, these are new flashbacks that freak me out. I am getting even more wound up and feeling threatened when leaving the house, feeling very threatened in my house. When I am out I am having what can only be described as stress reactions. The flashback are happening several times a day. Oh and my sleeping pattern is shot, add in headaches and having to fight the urges to harm myself. The worst thing for me is that my trust levels get completely blown and I struggle to trust people that I would normally trust

You would be right if you said things are a mess at the moment. This is the worst that things have been for me and I am not sure how long it will take to fix me. By the way I feel tonight it could be a while before I am back on track and rocking along with the world. It is weird sitting here feeling very wound up, insecure, threatened and needing a hug when in a locked house on my own.

As per normal I am not looking for sympathy but wanted everyone to know what is going on with me. Normal service will be resumed when my mind allows it.